For the first time in a very long time, i find myself somewhat afraid....not of a person...not of an animal...but of failure, my own potential, and the path that lies before me....which is rather ironic b/c i am the biggest proponent for following the path that God lays out before you....one of my quotes is "imagine how great we could all be if we stopped tip-toeing around our potential and finally began living in it"....that's me...i made that up....and now here i am...standing at the mouth of the road that leads to the fulfillment of my purpose...my potential is staring at me, into me...waiting for me to pick it up and run like i stole something....and i'm looking back but not fully..scared to make eye contact...scared NOT to make eye contact....
it's rare that one is given the gift of knowing what their purpose is (newsflash: we all have one)...it's even more rare that one actually takes the gift of knowledge and follows the gift givers path to fulfillment (in laymans terms...it's not often that one will sit still long enough and listen closely enough to follow the path that God lays before them, to fulfill said purpose)....at 23 i was blessed with the gift of knowledge....at 24 i began walking that path...at 29 i'm standing at the mouth of the next road...leading me evercloser to the land of fulfillment....the path is clear..there are no obstacles (at least not yet)...and while i am not paralyzed by fear....i am a little afraid of the beauty of the (un)known...my purpose is a beautiful one...the road is a beautiful one...the attributes that will carry this purpose to the land of fulfillment are beautiful ones...tenacity...passion...patience...commitment...integrity...belief....drive...divine blessing from divine hands....truly beautiful things...all things that i have been blessed with to move me down this road...yet i'm afraid....
i am blessed with the unique opportunity to forever affect the world by working with at risk youth...something i truly truly love to do...it is where my heart is....my passion is...it's what i like to call my "lifework"....the fear of failing God is intimidating me...i mean, come on...when the man upstairs hands down instructions, it's kind of a big deal...the fear of my own potential is intimidating me...and i must say...it's a very strange feeling....knowing that truly...the sky is the limit....the phrase "if you can dream it you can have it" is very real to me right now...if anyone reading this actually knows me, you know that i have a vivid imagination...and i'm the girl who doesn't quite understand the meaning of the word "no" when it comes to philanthropy...or simply "doing the right thing" - and my purpose is just that...a matter of "doing the right thing"...i just keep going until i get an answer i like...so knowing this about me...and knowing that i'm at this unique place in my life...one can understand the hesitation in putting my toe in the road...
then i got 2 Timothy 1:7, and it hit me like a ton of bricks...and my decision was made in that instant...i am looking my potential in the eye...and we're having a little conversation...but i'm doing most of the talking...going a little something like this:
potential: so...what are you gonna do?
me: baby..i'm gonna ride this thing till the wheels fall off.....end of story
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